not hiring someone who would have been a poor performer is a true negative. This is a topic that many people are looking for. newyorkcityvoices.org is a channel providing useful information about learning, life, digital marketing and online courses …. it will help you have an overview and solid multi-faceted knowledge . Today, newyorkcityvoices.org would like to introduce to you High Performers Will Always Fail With The Narcissist. Following along are instructions in the video below:
Youtubers hello subscribers. Thanks for tuning in lets talk a little bit about high high performers and why they will always fail when theyre in the care or the hands of a narcissist first lets talk about what a high performer is and im referring to on the job. A high performer is someone who comes in and immediately starts making an impact they contribute at a high level.
Theyre innovative. Theyre creative they have a lot of energy. They apply themselves heavily and directly towards their work.
They give something called discretionary effort. Which is basically effort above and beyond. What is required to get the job done business partners.
Other individuals in the company immediately take notice of this persons performance and generally have fairly good things to say about this person they stand out from the crowd mainly because of that extra effort they put towards all of their work. Theyre. Very thorough they have strong work ethic and they take a lot of pride in their work.
So thats why im referring to when i talk about high performers. They usually have a paper trail in terms of kudos and congratulations that others have given to them bonuses awards their work has been rewarded is my point so thats what im talking about when im talking about a high performer. So lets talk about the narcissist and in particular the narcissistic boss.
But it doesnt always have to be your boss in order for you to fail in this particular role. So thats why said the narcissist and not fail with a narcissistic boss. But theyre interchangeable in this case.
So heres what happens heres the cycle high performer applies for a job. It gets picked up by hr. They get brought in for an interview immediately either during the interview or immediately after the interview.
The high performer is offered this job and lets say for the sake of this example its the narcissistic boss. The narcissistic boss offers the high performer the job high performers excited theyre super pumped to start a new role week or two goes by they start their new job and they start immediately excelling taking off making great contributions and really doing great things that are moving the company and pushing the company forward. They might be bringing in more money maybe they save the company money whatever.
The case is theyre really showing everyone why they got hired for the job. So the high performer is happy and for a little while the high performer will think i finally found my niche. I finally found the place where i can plant and thrive and succeed and i dont have to go on this job hunt anymore and i can finally settle in somewhere along the line.
I want to stay probably around the two or three month mark the high performer will start to receive very vague. Unfounded feedback. Thats not based in reality usually from the narcissistic boss or a narcissist that has some type of impact on this persons future and career at this job.
This company and it throws the high performer off because if you look at their track record. It doesnt match the feedback that they are receiving so being the high performer that they are what they usually then do is internalize that feedback. And then ramp their efforts up in an effort to make that negative feedback go away.
Now. Lets keep in mind all throughout this that were talking about this person is dealing with a narcissist or a narcissistic boss not a healthy situation. Ill tell you what happens in the healthy situation.
They get this vague so continuing on to get this vague feedback. It worries them. Because again.
These are people who take pride in their work. So then they start to go above and beyond. Even the discretionary effort.
They were already giving which ultimately leads to burnout and now their performance is sincerely starting to fail to which the narcissist latches on to and gives them even more feedback that weighs them down and drag and down. So it sounds a little bit something like oh. Weve noticed that youre not your normal.
Happy self you used to be so positive you seem so frustrated lately you seem so disconnected lately. Whats going on you know whats going on is this person is spinning their wheels trying to figure out how to satisfy this feedback. Theyve been given and the reason they burnout is because there is no satisfaction to the feedback.
Because its usually not true or its exaggerated or its some type of gas lit gaslighting form of feedback one of their favorites is people are saying and if youre a good boss. A good leader generally you will not deliver feedback. Thats that vague if you really want to make changes and see someone make changes you have to be specific because if someone says to you people are saying.
What is your first question going to be who are these people right. And the high performer wants to know that too so they get these little vague nuggets of feedback or theyll do excellent on a project and the narcissist will latch on to something thats kind of irrelevant. But theyll use that as a basis basis of bad performance.
So then the high performer ramps up their their efforts to satisfy something thats not even real they burn out and now their performance is actually starting to suffer. So now the narcissist latches on to that like food and theyre eating it up and theyre giving this person all this feedback and so high performers dont quit easily so high performer is going to say well give me advice give me examples give me steps tell me what to do to get better. The narcissists will never have an answer for you never they will never have an answer for you because they cant because what theyre telling you doesnt really exist.
Its not really real so you cant correct a problem that doesnt actually exist. And thats what makes you crazy. And thats what makes you burnout.
So then the person is in the process of burning out and if they stick around too long. Generally. What will happen is they start to get performance counseling or they start to get write ups or they start to have the serious conversations about their future.
So now this person is moved from burnout to depression because they dont know what theyve done wrong. And all they can reflect on is how well they started and where they are their current state. This person is dealing with a narcissist.
A narcissistic company or a narcissistic boss and the sad. Part is they will actually never win against any of those three that i just named theyll never win. Theyll burn out their performance will suffer to the point where either theyll have to quit or they will be fired.
So lets kind of look at that how does a person go from high performing to low performance. This is the question that companies are not asking well mainly because most of them are set up by narcissists. I wont go down that rabbit hole on this video.
Ill go down that rabbit hole in another video. But most companies have a very narcissistic structure in place the companies that are experiencing the highest retention right now are those who have completely banished that type of behavior and that type of thinking but if youre in a narcissistic setup of a company youre not going to win because keep in mind narcissists have no pride. They have nothing to lose is what i mean so theyll keep playing this game with you until you die.
Honestly you could kill over with a heart attack and they could care less theyre there they could not care. Less and theyll be disappointed. Because now they have to find a new toy to play with they went to too far with this one so now they have to find a new toy to play with.
But anyway. The question that companies really need to ask themselves is how does the person go from high to low performance in a span of what six months to a year whatever it may be okay not a span of 30 days 90 days because most people put forth their best foot. When they first start a job.
So i can see how someone can go from high to low in a very short timeframe because they were probably just pretending anyway. But how does a person consistently deliver at a high level for a period of four five six months seven months and then suddenly take a nosedive and if that is the case. Why is that grounds for dismissal and not development.
Do you see what im saying so. Lets kind of back up and look at the exact same example with a healthy company healthy people healthy bosses. You come in as a high performer and actually you probably wont ever take the nosedive because youre dealing with healthy people.
But lets just say for the sake of argument and for the sake of example you come in as a higher performer you perform at a high level for seven months straight and then suddenly you take a nosedive assuming youre not a narcissistic situation. A healthy company is going to look. And say.
This person has really produced for us. Theyve given us their best. Theyve always delivered high quality work.
Theyve been really great to work with really awesome co workers. What happened lets talk to them lets ask questions. Lets see if theres something we can do to support them maybe.
Somethings going on in their life. That they have no control over and its its creeping into their work life. But we care about this person.
We dont want to lose them we also dont want to go through the hiring process. Again lets see if we can figure out whats wrong to fix it because it makes no sense for a person to go from high performance to low performance. When they have a track record of high performance.
A narcissistic company. However is going to take the approach of you have to be you have to perform at 100 at all times. No matter the circumstances.
No matter how we set it up for you to fail or succeed and if you even so much show a sign of human frustration burnout exhaustion. Were just going to get rid of you and thats how a lot of them operate you know their first approach is not remedy their first approach is punishment. And whats interesting is a lot of times people are being punished for very natural reactions to causes simple cause and effect.
So theyre dealing with someone whos a problem. Who probably has been a problem is probably a documented problem and because they start to show signs of wear and tear as a result of dealing with this person instead of the company. Saying maybe we need to take a look at who we have leading our people.
The company says well were going to protect this person and get rid of you and were going to maintain this this unhealthy individual in our midst. I did. A video called a narcissistic safe havens and a lot of companies are narcissistic.
Safe havens. But i want to take another spin on this video and talk a little bit about what causes that how the narcissist actually takes that approach with the person and causes them to take the nosedive. What actually is contributing to that heres what it is you guys might now probably know that i love analogies and metaphors.
So picture a dark room. Its pitch black in the room and someone brings in a light or maybe. Theres a light in the room that has a dimmer switch on it okay and so someone walks in and slowly starts.
Turning the light up and you can slowly start to see everything thats in the room okay. But the person doesnt just stop once theyve gotten the light on they keep timing. The light until now its actually too bright.
So now everyone in the room is squinting and you can see everything in the room. You can see every scuffle in the wall. You can see every piece of dirt and dust in the corner.
You can see all the cobwebs because the light is so bright okay so some of you already know where im going with this when the narcissist hires. The high performer. The room is dark okay.
The high performer comes in and with each contribution they make the light turns up a little bit right at first its great because everyone can see oh my weve been in the dark for so long. We can finally see now. But what happens is as the light keeps turning up in other words as the high performer continues to do great things continues to ask questions continues to try to improve processes.
The light is getting brighter and brighter. And now we can see all the dirty laundry in the room. Now we can see all the dirt on the walls.
We can see all the trash on the floor. All the cobwebs and who narcissists hate that narcissus need to live in a dim. Little world where no one can see whats going on and they operate very well in that circumstance.
They operate very well in the shadows in the darkness. They really dont prefer light. But theyll take a little bit of light just so they can see where they are but dont turn it all the way up because then you are exposed.
So the high performer actually exposes the narcissist. The high performer exposes. The safe haven they expose the company for who they are and oftentimes.
They do it without even trying often times. They do it just by being themselves. They expose all of this stuff.
So thats why the narcissus likes them at first because it helps them see because if youll recall narcissus dont really like to do a lot of thinking. They dont really like to do a lot of creating they have to keep everything kind of stable steady eddy in order to keep the mask in place. Its a very fragile mask it slips.
Very easily its not on plate in place with krazy glue okay more like elmers maybe the glue stick okay. And so the high performer comes in and makes it very difficult for them to continue on as they have the high performer. Ask questions that demand answers not in a rude way just in an inquisitive way.
Why do you all do it that way how did you all come to that conclusion. And when there arent good answers and youre in a place. Where people are accustomed to just not speaking up not questioning anything thats the equivalent of turning that light on so bright that now were squinting okay.
And thats what the narcissist has to get rid of you because the longer youre around the more accountable. The narcissist and that company has to be the more questions they have to answer the more they actually have to be responsible with their decisions and their choices and the way that they treat their employees. So the high performer is just a bright light that comes in as a dimmer.
It comes in very dim. And over time becomes so bright. The narcissist cant take it and has to get rid of you because they dont want to have to do anything different.
I actually really this is kind of a sidebar so if youre done with this topic. You can stop the video now. But im going to keep going i predict in about 20 years or so we will see businesses take off in a very good direction and the reason that i predict that is because a lot of these narcissists are still in place.
Weve got about 10 to 15 about 20 years before they are all gone before theyve. All retired and gotten out of these positions of power. Sure some of them will stick around on boards of directors and all thats fine and i know that narcissists have kids and theyll put their little baby narcissus in their positions.
I know thats going to happen. But i think overall eventually these businesses will be relinquished to business practices that really support the human being and when human beings are supportive. Theyre incredibly productive because i believe its in humans nature to want to be effective to want to produce to want to contribute i think thats in humans nature.
But conditions have to be right for a person to thrive and right now. There are a lot of companies a lot of narcissistic safe havens and they have a lot of people in positions of power maintaining the status quo. But the beautiful thing is they cant maintain it forever they have to retire eventually and theyre doing it theyre retiring little by little slowly.
But surely theyre moving out of these positions and i think we will see a surge in business. I really believe well see kind of like a golden era in terms of people going on jobs liking their jobs feeling like theyre fairly paid. But more than the pay feeling like theyre fairly treated okay so a high performer will go to a company and that company will fight tooth and nail to keep that person this person is helping them make money this person is helping boost morale.
This person is helping take this company to the next level. They will not be so easy to dismiss people like that in the future in the future. People like that will be so highly sought after that theyll probably spend a lot of their time.
Telling companies. No im happy im happy where im at thank you so much for the offer thank you for the consideration. But i am happy here and companies will be throwing money out of begging.
Them to come work for them and actually treat them well when they get there. Its just going to take some time you guys. Its going to take some time.
I feel like right now. Were shaking off a really bad cold like the way things are right now the state of affairs in the world its like a really nasty flu that planet earth has i do believe were in the process of shaking it off even though it doesnt look like it i do believe sometimes things get worse before they get better and i think were at the worst part of the flu right now but i do think its getting ready to peak. If you guys can just hang.
In there if you learn the more you learn the more you share your ideas the more you change your behaviors. Thats how we change the world and thats why im doing this channel. So i thank you all for listening.
I thank you all my new subscribers. Thanks for joining it welcome to the team thanks to everyone whos been commenting down below. Ive been responding to some comments in liking a whole bunch of them so i really have a lot of fun down there in the comments section.
I hope you guys do too. But as always thank you for tuning in and im going to close my videos with this from now on i grant you the permission to exist take care. .
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