how to make people uncomfortable This is a topic that many people are looking for. newyorkcityvoices.org is a channel providing useful information about learning, life, digital marketing and online courses …. it will help you have an overview and solid multi-faceted knowledge . Today, newyorkcityvoices.org would like to introduce to you The Power in Making People Uncomfortable Katya Slater TEDxStripDistrict . Following along are instructions in the video below:
“My name is katya slater and it s my job to make people uncomfortable. I i don t mean to brag. But i m a natural. I ve been doing in my whole life and it s not because i m socially awkward.
Though i can be at times or even that i enjoy defying stereotypes and cultural norms. Which coincidentally. I do i m a natural because the things that i like to talk about with total strangers are generally the things that most people run away from religion politics trauma doctor who you know the important stuff. But it makes people uncomfortable so i do it because i subscribe to the philosophy that it s only awkward if you make it awkward and anyway.
I have a superpower. I don t get embarrassed no really i don t in fact. I once participated in a psych study in college. Where i had to identify different emotions based on facial expressions.
That i saw frowny face anger. Smiling face joy crinkled nose disgust on and on the faces flashed on my computer screen and i recognized all of them except for embarrassment when that face popped up it just would not reveal its secrets to me so i skipped it well i ve since learned what embarrassment looks like on other people s faces. But the emotion itself remains relatively foreign to me i skip it. Which is rather beneficial because i m paid to talk to middle schoolers and high schoolers about sex.
It s my job to make people uncomfortable. There s no getting around that awkwardness trust. Me teenagers may be comfortable talking about sex with their peers or googling their questions. But when a stranger walks into their second period class and their crush is sitting two seats away that discomfort is unassailable.
It doesn t bother me of course and the thing to do in that situation is to acknowledge the emotion and then move on with the talk in the games..
In the candy. Bribery candy is a great way to get reluctant teens on your side. But in the course of my career. And watching all of these red faces and nervous giggles.
I ve an opportunity to see what discomfort actually looks like and i m not convinced. It s a bad thing in fact i think it s a superpower. What happens when people are uncomfortable. What happened.
When i stood in front of you and did nothing the most beautiful human thing you started to question some of you even turned to your neighbors. You wondered that that moment of uncertainty caused you to go from being passive to being active. It spurred you to do see i m of the opinion. That discomfort is vital to human development.
Without it we would never satisfy our burning curiosities or seek solutions to difficult problems in short. We would never really grow as individuals or as a society discomfort is really just a mild form of pain and although no one enjoys that experience it can be a useful tool when our bodies hurt. We know something is wrong when we cry our loved ones know to comfort us similarly discomfort can act as a diagnostic tool to clue us in to the state of our hearts and the state of our minds. And it can serve as a catalyst for healthy change for example hearing about the signs of sexually transmitted diseases and how common they are in society may make a teenager uncomfortable about his own behaviors enough to get tested hearing about the warning signs of emotional abuse may make a teenager uncomfortable about her own relationship enough to seek help and that s why i do what i do because not talking about the uncomfortable things doesn t make them go away.
It just gives them more power. Any counselor will tell you that and i should know because i was one talking about the uncomfortable things can sometimes change lives and i think that is a superpower. It s also my job. But lately.
It s become become more than that it s become my mission..
I m a writer i use words to explore truth in the midst of fantasy. I also like to dabble in songwriting and in both of these creative pursuits. I relish discomfort. I put my characters through beastly trials for the sake of a greater narrative in music.
I revel in dissonant chords and harmonies. Why because it s what happens. After that makes the choice so effective. It s the resolution that satisfies the chord progression.
It s the character arc that colors the story denying my protagonist. Her well deserved happy ending can be a powerful commentary that stirs people to emotion to empathy and sympathy eric whitacre. Whose piece sleep we re currently listening to use this dissonance to evoke complexity and it gives people chills. It s these reactions to discomfort that makes us truly human and if you leverage those reactions.
Amazing things can happen making people uncomfortable is often the first step to inspiring change martin luther king jr. Made a lot of people uncomfortable so did elizabeth cady stanton and benazir bhutto and mahatma gandhi and jesus in fact that s one of my favorite things about the christian faith. If the bible doesn t brush up against your sensibilities. You clearly haven t read very much of it it asks you to evaluate yourself.
And what you believe in and what guides you and it refuses to leave you in your comfort zone. And really that s the essence of this superpower. It s a defiance of complacency complacency will take you nowhere the old adage tells us that it s not the destination that matters. It s the journey and that every great journey begins with a single step true.
But there s a journey that takes place before that takes place in the heart takes place in the mind..
Nobody wakes up one day to discover that they re on a journey. They must first decide to undertake it something extraordinary must happen in their brains to fire those neurons that take them from rest to motion. Because we learned from newton that an object at rest will remain at rest. Unless an outside force acts upon it a brain at rest will remain at rest.
Unless. An outside force makes it rest less and nothing quite triggers restlessness like discomfort and restlessness is close cousins with wanderlust. Which has inspired so many wonderful first steps. But before you take that first step you must confront the question of what life would look like if you didn t and if that makes you uncomfortable you act.
And that s what i do for a living. I make people uncomfortable. Because standing still equals stagnation and stagnation is really just a fancy word for a slow death. I use my words to make people rethink reevaluate and respond.
I make people uncomfortable by exposing them to questions. And allowing them the opportunity to be brave about the answer so what about you it s one thing to listen to somebody quirky pontificate about redefining. What is arguably one of the most primal human defense mechanisms. Fitting in with society.
It s quite another to take that redefinition and apply it in your own life well. If you re feeling brave. I have a big guy lingly simple recipe for you to cultivate your very own superpower step. One make yourself uncomfortable if stagnation equals death then you re just contributing to your demise by not challenging yourself confront your weaknesses confront the ugly parts of you confront your fears read books and articles on topics that are unfamiliar to you have conversations with people who hold viewpoints that are different than yours just.
Like a potted plant will wither..
If it doesn t have enough soil and space for its roots to grow so will you if you don t expose yourself to new hard ideas step two make others uncomfortable speak up about your beliefs especially if you re the only voice advocating for them. But if you do so do it with humility and with kindness. Then be prepared to be profoundly ironically and even forgive ibly wrong your perspective is valuable. But don t make the mistake of thinking.
It s impregnable. However if your convictions run deep fight for them people will push against you expecting you to fall back in line based on the sheer force of their personalities. Let their opposition be an opportunity for you to strengthen and sharpen your character rather than dissuade. You nothing kills innovation faster than giving in to discouragement and nothing inspires people more than pressing on in spite of it step.
3 repeat keep exploring keep learning keep challenging and dreaming do it when you re high on confidence. And do it when you re low on motivation look that fear of rejection and failure straight in the face and remind yourself that you don t have to be its prisoner. You ll win those inner battles and you lose some too. It s important to have someone to turn to in those moments of uncertainty.
One last tip as you do cyclical battle with these difficult emotions and ideas and successes and disappointments be sure not to let them define you if your identity rests in something that can crumble or change with time you ll find yourself in a very precarious and dangerous place search for meaning outside of yourself. And in someone immutable that way when you lose your way you can rest on that immutable strength. I hope i ve made you a little uncomfortable and i hope you ll make others a little uncomfortable too because if you leverage it well if you embrace it it can be a superpower. ” .
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“Katya Slater is a cheerful student of human behavior and a Master of her ABCs. After earning undergraduate degrees in Russian and History, she combined her love of psychology and theology to obtain a Master of Arts in Biblical Counseling. She now works as a sexual health educator in the Pittsburgh area. When she s not having awkward conversations with teens, she s usually working on her latest fantasy novel, binging Netflix, or spending time with her husband. Katya Slater is a cheerful student of human behavior and a Master of her ABCs. After earning undergraduate degrees in Russian and History, she combined her love of psychology and theology to obtain a Master of Arts in Biblical Counseling. She now works as a sexual health educator in the Pittsburgh area. When she s not having awkward conversations with teens, she s usually working on her latest fantasy novel, bingeing Netflix, or spending time with her husband This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx”,
TEDxTalks, English, Social Science, Life Hack, Sex