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Todays question asks what are the signs that someone is repulsed by you so while back. I released. A video called the five signs someone is attracted to you and one of the questions.
I receive this result is kind of look at the other side of that right what about repulsion and disgust. Which is a fair question so repulsion is when somebody acts on the emotion of disgust. Its a strong sense of a version so repulsion is what happens because of disgust.
Some of the time other times somebody may feel disgust. But not react to the point where theyre repulsed now disgust can be considered a form of behavioral loss aversion that protects resources including the integrity of ones body so it serves a purpose. There are many theories about how many types of disgust.
There are but essentially if we look at the wood. It sure it all comes down to two types physical and moral disgust interestingly. We see it argued in the research literature that moral disgust is actually a separate emotion from physical discussed sometimes moral disgust can be referred to as contempt.
Now contempt is distinct from physical disgust in a few different ways. Its felt exclusively toward human beings. It implies a sense of superiority.
There are pessimistic feelings. They are about the possibility of that person bettering themselves. And we see a detachment from the person from the object of the disgust been avoidance driven by detachment not driven by fear.
Disgust is different it can be directed at a number of possible targets. It implies contamination sensitivity. A fear of contamination and avoidance driven by fear so im gonna answer.
This question about how can you tell if somebodys repulsed by you by looking at the ten signs that somebodys repulsed by you throughout this video for the sake of claire. Im gonna use a person. A person b scenario.
So person. A is the person who is thought of by person b as being disgusting or repulsive. So person b is repulsed by person a technically speaking person a is the repellent right thats what thats what we call somebody whos repulsive when we talk about it from a scientific point of view it doesnt sound great.
But its the technical term. They are a repellent just to create a little more clarity. Im making person a male and person b female.
And this is simply so i can make a distinction using the pronouns. He and she and him and her instead of referring to everybody as they which becomes confusing when trying to illustrate the point so im going to illustrate in these 10 signs now before i go into the signs. Im going to cover a few factors that its important to keep in mind.
When evaluating signs like this the first factor would be baseline behaviors. Some people look like they are repulsed by everybody they tend to be disgusted by everybody so theyre gonna manifest what appears to be the signs of repulsion whenever evaluating somebody elses behavior you have to know what theyre like normally if somebody always screams and runs away when somebody else approaches them if they do that to you it might not be related to anything specific about you the second factor is sensitivity some people are very aware of what people are doing around them so theyre going to perceive a lot of nonverbal communication. That may not signify.
Anything and they may distort both nonverbal and verbal communication. So if person a tends to believe that other people feel negatively toward him. When he encounters person b.
Hell think the same thing of her having this tennessee is associated with love self esteem depression anxiety high neuroticism. Vulnerable narcissism and the construct of the highly sensitive person. Which is not a mental disorder.
Is just a set of traits that are studied in the research literature. And we also see a number of other mood states and personality traits associated with this tendency. The third factor to keep in mind is the difference between repulsion and someone just being uninterested.
If person be fines personai unattractive. Thats not the same thing as being disgusted by person a sometimes the signs of a lack of attraction are similar to the signs of disgust contempt and repulsion when i go through the signs. Ill try to illustrate how one might be able to differentiate this kind of neutral stance from something like disgust so now lets take a look at the ten signs that somebody might be repulsed by you so sign number one is physical proximity this is one of the more obvious signs of repulsion.
But it can manifest in a few different ways one way that ive seen. It expressed is based on a continuous distance right. So imagine youre in an event.
Where people are mingling like a party. Some sort of social event and person a starts to approach person b like walking over toward person b or maybe just walking in person bs direction with continuous distance person b is going to keep a minimum distance from person a if theyre repulsed by them lets just use the example of three feet one yard. So its like person b is holding out a yardstick and as soon as person a reaches the end of that yardstick person b is going to move and the other direction to maintain that one yard of separation and of course you can substitute any distance in for this within.
Reason. I mean you couldnt substitute in like a mile or something. But ive seen people to have limits that are more like four or five feet or even ten feet again.
If the person is really repulsing them right if theyre really disgusted by that person they might maintain a lot of distance next physical. Proximity example is based on compression so with continuous distance. That one yard.
Again is always maintained with compression instead of holding a yardstick. Its like person a is holding a spring thats three feet long. So his person a gets closer than that three feet that spring starts to compress the way.
We see it manifest is like tension just like we would see a spring physically compressed. We would see the tension as it builds potential energy well person b compresses. As she looks to release the energy right.
Shes looking to reestablish that distance of three feet or create. Even more distance. So his person.
A is talking to person b. As that tension builds for person b. She eventually walks off in another direction.
Unnerved. So sign. Number two is a failure to engage so at this sign somebody simply doesnt engage in a meaningful interaction.
With another person. So person. A and person b.
Or in a social situation person b is not even going to make eye contact or initiate. Any type of conversation. If person a walks up the person being said something casual like how are you or some.
Other small talk person b looks away or says something dismissive. This one makes person b. Look a bit condescending and arrogant.
This one is also fairly obvious and can tend to get a bit awkward. Its not the best way to handle that feeling of disgust. I saw a situation like this where person b.
So to speak looked at her watch as person. A was talking to her and person a became upset and asked her if she was ignoring him. And she pretended like she didnt see him even when he was standing there the whole time and then she kind of stopped looking her watch.
And said. Oh i didnt see you standing there when it was fairly obvious that she did later i found out that it wasnt necessarily narcissism in this particular case. Maybe a little.
But person b was really disgusted and repulsed by person a and just wanted to get away from him. So sign. Number three is rapid unnecessary disengagement.
So what do i mean by this. So. Lets assume that person.
A and person b. Both work in a setting like an office and person a approaches person b. Maybe.
In a hallway or in one of those offices and starts talking so if person b is looking around trying to establish eye contact with another co worker. So in a nonverbal way kind of saying help me get out of this conversation. She may be looking at her phone wishing it would be pouring or whatever it does looking for some way to get away from person a without having to be direct without really facing whats going on here.
We can see that tension. I was referring to in that first sign like the tension is really building. If no organic way to escape presents itself.
She might just walk away without saying anything or she might try to present an excuse thats clearly fabricated. There are some other ways to initiate an unnecessary disengagement person be may inquire as to what activities person a needs to attend to so she may say do you have someplace to be right now or arent you late for a meeting kind of trying to push him along a bit. If the conversation started out with a request to ask a question.
But then got off course like a person. I said hey have a question for you. But then they started talking about something else person b.
Might say you said you had a question kind of rushing things along again just like that other example now. I think that some of this of course could just mean that somebodys busy again not all these definitely mean a somebodys repulsed. Theyre just indicators that may mean that in some instances.
A good example of behavior. That gets misinterpreted. Ah would be of person b appear sport that could just indicate that she is not attracted or shes neutral in terms of attraction.
That doesnt necessarily mean that theres contempt number four is lying about availability right so. This ones based on deception. So perhaps person.
A says will you be around after lunch. A lot talking about something and person b. Says.
No i have an appointment after lunch when really there is no appointment. So person b will always be occupied when person a is inquiring. It is actually an effective way of maintaining distance.
But again deception isnt always the best way to handle these types of feelings. Number five also kind of based on deception pretending to be on a cell phone or otherwise distracted by some sort of technology. Ive seen some pretty uncomfortable instances of this including one where person b was pretending to talk on a cell phone and a third person bystander.
Who felt the person bs behavior was narcissistic called that phone right so it rang while she was pretending that she was talking on it. And it was very obvious that she wasnt talking on it those another situation. Where person.
A was standing at a counter and person b. Was at a desk behind the counter and person b. Said.
That she had a message coming in that she had to attend to like an instant message or something like that and again. She acted like she was reading it and person a leaned over and looked at the computer. And it was off so again just kind of speaks to the same point.
That there are better ways to handle this at least potentially less embarrassing ways number six. We see here never sharing personal information. Even the basic things that most anybody could figure out or is already known by everybody so.
This is an actual discussion that ive heard right so person. A and person b. Here person.
A says. So you have children person b. Says.
Well. Its hard to say person. A says so youre not sure.
If you have children and person b. Says. Well theres no way to be certain about these things right and during this conversation.
That was a picture long person bs desk of her children. So either person b is being deceptive or shes really skeptical she couldnt even be convinced their own kids existed right so this is one of the situations. Where it may be better just to be direct and say i dont feel comfortable talking about personal matters.
Because trying to deny it and the kind of a strange way by saying. Theres no way to be sure kids existing just seems kind of strange. So number seven here has to do with facial expressions and interestingly.
It was discussed there are two perceptual e distinct facial expressions. A closed expression. This is where somebody has a scrunched nose and closed mouth and an open expression.
This is where somebody has a scrunched nose. But their mouth is open and they have a protruding tongue. If somebodys making that facial expression.
When you walk up to them thats a pretty good sign that they are repulsed moving a sign number eight. The sign has to do with the situation. Where person a it is perceived by person b as having done something morally wrong.
If person b is sensitive to physically disgusting stimuli like spoiled food rodents insects or pathogen bearing substances. Its likely she would also be more sensitive to moral transgressions. So the physical disgust seems to be connected in some way to the moral disgust.
Sign. Number nine is if person has a negative body image of themselves. This is actually associated with higher self disgust higher disgust propensity and higher disgust sensitivity.
If somebody has a negative body image. Theyre more likely to see others as disgusting. So that brings me to sign number 10.
Now this one is fairly obvious. But its something thats supporting the literature. So i want to try to include it in this list.
And this is nausea and vomiting and ive actually seen this a couple times. Specifically related to disgust both instances involve someone who was malodorous right so this ones actually a fairly good indicator that somebodys disgusted. The fact that person b is repulsed by person a doesnt really tell us anything definitive about the personality structures of either person.
It could be the person. A as narcissistic obnoxious. Unpleasant.
So it makes sense that person b would be repulsed by him or it could be the person b as narcissistic. And she feels like shes too good or superior to engage with people she doesnt consider elite both people could be narcissistic person a may want to appear disgusting in an effort to drive person b away. Ive seen that before many times or person b might be pretending as a manipulation tactic.
Ive also seen that many times so we see a lot of possibilities when we observe repulsion disgust or contempt. So if you walk up to somebody at a party and they refuse to make eye contact with you or say anything to you as they pull out their cell phone and pretend to be making appointment. All the while scrunching their nose walking away from you only to vomit a moment later you may want to consider the possibility that that person is repulsed by you so we know whenever i talk about topics like repulsion and disgust and contempt.
Therell be a variety of opinions. Please put any opinions and thoughts in a comment section. They always generate a really interesting dialogue as always i hope you found this description of repulsion to be interesting and not repulsive thanks for watching.
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